M e M o R i E s

decisions of life

2009-03-06T23:32:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, i had the urge of blogging after such a long time.

All this time after my jc life, i've been working at fairprice hq. It's quite a manageable job i guess? but of cos, at times the workload can be quite hectic. especially when things dun go my way. well, after all how can things always turn out the way we wanted throughout our life? but one thing i'm certain is that i would never want to lead a life working as an admin staff. i'm not saying tt admin is a bad thing but it really doesnt suits me tt well...

well, all these days i've been thinking... and i'm really thinking hard. i've been living 18+ years of trapped life? perhaps a life deprived of a little more freedom? freedom is a sacred word in my home, or at least it is, in my little own dictionary. im forbidden to do things like staying one more night in a chalet (when it only adds up to 3 nights?), going overseas (even like batam) for CIP, teaching tuition at the student's place? oh well.. i cant name it all. it's all up to me to discover wtih a little price to pay - and of cos it's listening to nags. and after all the thinking, i've decided that i shld neva give in to all these restrictions anymore... if i were to receive an opportunity to go overseas for exchange programmes in my uni years, i would definitely say yes and give it a go. after all, all of us only have a lifetime to live. and we definitely dun wan to miss any opportunity and regret when we grow old n die. i muz stay firm in my belief and strive for my rights in freedom..

hmm, yest got my A lvls results. i'm pretty happy with it and i really hope i would be able to get into my desired course. of cos, i had mch to think and consider abt wad course to take. i muz really make a gd decision and not regret for life.

Jia you my friends, in all that u do. we'll definitely make it to the end...

Luv,
Kalyn

hk trip

2008-12-19T23:54:00.000-08:00

wow.. it's a long time since i last blogged. feel so unfamiliar here. hahaa. hmm juz went for a 4d3n holiday at hk nt long ago... haha it's a wonderful trip. first time taking a plane overseas and i can realli say tt it's an extremely memorable experience for me.. i'll neva forget it for a lifetime. hmmm i can say it's a simply magical experience for me.. haha shan't say mch.. post some photos bahz..

2008-03-20T05:42:00.000-07:00

hmm.. it's been another 4months since i last blogged. been rather busy these days. hardly have time to rest esp during block test. haha well.. i think i've sort of tried my best liao.. no regrets. though results may turn out bad..

still remember on 8 march.. went bck to phs.. watch leap yrs with yp n yx before gg. ya... n we invited irene n viv to go to phs 2... haha hmm how to say lehz.. i think de fun fair was quite ok ba.. quite alot of things..brought back memories of the time when we had phs carnival.. (oh ya, i wonder if it was called tt too.. i got no idea wad's de event's name though. lols) hmm bt i feel quite guilty bahz.. cos hai4 dem spend so mch $$ on de day.. n 1 slice of pizza actually cost dem 5d. hahaa cant believe it.. hmm, on tt day yx n yp also celebrated bdae for me. an early one though, bt it's alright, it's de thots dat count afterall.. hmm this yr's a special one for me.. lol for my years of life, i've never had my bdae on a sch day. haha it always fall on the march holidays.. well.. all becos of leap yr. hmm... ya n i want to thank everyone who wished me on this day... thks a lot.. =) u've all made my day in one way or another. oh ya.. n i encountered a weird incident on my bdae. on de way hm, a guy approached me.. he sounded quite anxious.. n asked me for de way to serangoon. he told me abt his unfortunate encounter of how he came from malaysia n his friends dropped him nearby to have his teeth checked n juz rejected his calls.. with his wallet n $$$ all left at serangoon... hmm after tt he asked if dere was any way to go to serangoon without $$$... hmm well.. obviously dere isnt any i guess... so after some time, i gave all my coins to him.. totalling up to 90cents.. n showed him de way to mrt.. he was quite thankful n even asked if i have enough $$$ n wanted to return me if i didn.. lol. hmm... well.. i believe him ba.. he dun sound like lying. lol hmm... ya n after tt i opened de mail n found de gift irene sent me from aust.. haha.. it was a cute kanga.. =)

hmm... this yr has been quite lonely.. had my cake blown with my mum onli.. lol owells...
hmm shall post some photos to sum up...

hmm this cake is from yx n yp..=)

oh ya... wanna thk marla too for de class gift.. it was lovely.. with hellokitty. haha. i loved cats.=)hmm k den.. gonna end here..

2007-11-16T02:22:00.000-08:00

我想这也就是所谓的缘尽了。。。嘿。。

Back "alive". haha

2007-11-15T02:34:00.000-08:00

mm.. some time since i've last blogged. oh. i guess now i have experienced wad i consider to be de most serious illness i've ever had for my 17 yrs of life. haha de thot of "i dun wan to die..." even came to my mind. hmm.. haiz. last fri after my trip to ikea, went bck hm, had dinner n everything was normal... until arnd 11. vomited 1st time. den 2nd time. n went to slp. n..... who noes. in de middle of de nite, at arnd 1.30am, woke up all of sudden. 1st thing head for toilet. lol. vomitted 3rd time. n de rest of de times came in at 3.30, 530am and some unknown ones too... lol. haiz. 2nd day still vomitted quite a bit. sort of reach de stage of ntg to vomit le.. went see doc. feel like vomitting along de way. arghhh. n ya. i began to have diahorea. haiz. n for sat, sun, mon n tues i'm almost bedridden man. feel so tired n wobbly all over. haiz.
sometimes i do ask myself. why am i so weak man?! n my mum aso say i'm made of paper.. lol. if YOUR heart is made of paper. i guess i'm worst off dan u. hahaa. random. :p
hmm... now i do feel better. oh thank god. i dwn to have this sickness again. it's so uncomfortable.
and i'm thankful to be "alive" once again..=)
k den end here. now gotta help my dad do hmk.. all full of dimensions. hahaa i'll take it tt i'm doing art drawin.. lol =)

Chalet...!!!

2007-11-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

ahh... juz back from our 0711Bees Chalet.. haha though it was onli 2days 1 nite, we ENJOYED!=)haha it was a fun gathering for all of us. mm.. let me list out de schedule... haha

First, we checked in at arnd 3pm i suppose? yay. settled down n got out some cards to play. initially played uno. bt kinda bored. so switched to smthg more exciting. hahaa. STRESS! yeah. it was realli stress-ing. hahaaa i played against yp n we were like here n dere rushing to get our cards put up. lol. hahaaa den later we exchanged partners n i played against denise. wow. denise's realli gd at this game. haha she could juz control de cards here n dere so swiftly. haha n we continued with dis for quite some time i guess.
After tt, went out to walk walk. mm passed by de children's playgrnd or smthg liddat. n yp n kelly got realli excited with de 'balls' activities dat those kids were playin. it sort of bring back deir childhood memories? haha. lol my memories of dat was rather faded though. cant realli remember..
mm went back at arnd 6pm i guess. den watched val n viv play de ps2 game. haha after which, we started to play smthg rather pervertic i muz say. hahaha. it was sort of a wrestling game with a particular mode called de 'bra n panties'. oh man. haha cant believe we are playing tt. lol bt for fun la. nvm nvm. hahaha.
After tt, we went down to eat. oh ya. n marla's realli de chef 4 de day. she was bbqing throughout de whole nite. haha quite guilty tt we didn help mch. hmm. n later mr tan came n chat with us. After which mr chan, ms yeo, mr azahar, mrs yap came. mmm... n we were now n den eating n playing ps2. haha
At nite, we took grp photos, bathed n settled down. rather tired though. lied on de bed n rested bt couldn quite slp. haha mm n this goes on for de rest of de nite i guess.....

well, n today we went back sch early in de morn to get back results slip. rather tired n dozed a little in de bus. hmm.. i muz say today is realli a sad day. after a day of fun, we are once again faced with de terrible truth... haiz. duno wad to say. at times feel like cryin. 0711B mayb incomplete physically in de future. bt i believe it will still be perfectly complete spiritually. mm hold on to de truth n stay firm in ur beliefs. dun give up. God will neva fail u. Have faith in him for HE is always gd. Remember, 711Bees will always be dere for u...

well, guess i'll end here.
With Luv,
Kalyn.

hectic day

2007-10-22T07:19:00.000-07:00

mm.. today had pw presentation. sort of nervous i guess. fumbled a bit. need to work on being more calm & project my voice louder. ahhh...
ya n chem trainin is killin me. i guess soon. haha first training n i already lost my way somewhere. lol. yp saw xm in bk on de way back hm n told me. haha bt surprising i juz turn back take a look few times. cant see n continue walkin. lol. i actually did dat for someone whom i sort of admire for arnd 3 yrs? haha cant believe tt. maybe de feeling is gone le ba. n once it is so, ntg realli matters. well. now muz focus on studies. no time to think abt all these i guess. hmm. hope tt our upcomin op will be a smooth n successful one. let's work hard! =)

tt's all for today. tired le.
live life as simple as it can be.
Kalyn.

nightmare. perhaps?

2007-10-20T21:38:00.000-07:00

mm.. these few days suddenly got de feelin of blogging. haha well, yest had sort of a bad dream. dreamt tt it was de last day dey r comin 2 sch. n i saw dem takin class photo. tried to walk past dem bt uncontrollably took out phone 2 snap a shot of dem. LOL. wad an action i'll neva do. neva have de courage to do. n somehow as i continue walkin.. i turn my head to take a last look. tears well up n kinda stream down? hmm. n i was even more sadz when i took out n realise de photo was blurred. lol. haha think i've been thinkin too mch le. afterall. dey will leave bt i'll neva do tt i guess.

kinda sianz these few days. yest went out with irene n mk 2 look for cash register. it was a failed attempt though. haha walk all de way to de building's doorstep n found out tt dey didn open. wrong move. haha. next time muz be wiser le. call before gtg. haha

n oh ya. i've made an interestin discovery yest. it was quite of a coicidence. irene (as in jiy2 paradize) is comin back on 24 nov. n irene laopo is gtg back on 24 nov too! lol. so qiao3. haha

mm sianz. i'll be random now. post up some of my fav cats. =)))

Carrot

Pardon me 4 my craziness. bt each cat's got a name. haha

(from Top left onwards) Tabby. Mimi. Nana. Carrot. Curry. Coco. Kiki. Nini. Cola.

Chocolate. Carrot. Curry.

I simply LOVE CATS. =)

Kalyn.

life...

2007-10-18T19:47:00.000-07:00

seems like a long time eversince i've blogged. juz de blinking of an eye n 1 yr nearly passed.
well. juz got back mid-course results nt long ago. think i didn try my best maybe? i'm nt sure too. bt overall, i think i'm still quite satisfied ba. haha. 知足是常乐.. lol yest juz watched residents' evil 3: extinction with yp, irene, jh n mk. haha i think it's de most thrillin mv i've ever watched. nearly jumped out of my seats. even more scary dan horror shows. lol bt yet i see irene (who is anti-horror mv.. haha) quite calm lehz. onli certain parts den jump. haha

ya. last sat went out with yx to bugis. shop arnd n 叙叙旧. talked abt our current life. i guess everyone's been rather busy these past yr. bt we'll still make de effort to keep in touch. =)

mm... learn smthg from de mv i guess... n tt is to treasure life's every moment before it is gone. i guess this applies to all. wadever we have, we own.. families, friends n loved ones. treasure.

36 days more. i'm waitin.
kalyn.

2007-05-26T02:53:00.000-07:00

mm decided to blog a short entry to sum up my life so far this year.. =)
in may, we sent a little gift to irene for her bdae. we went to shop at jurong point after doin cop at melrose kids' society. (btw, it was quite a fruitful day spent. it helped me realise how fortunate we are to have a complete family..) went to "Yellow" n made a hp accessory for irene. it was simply beautiful with her name carved on it. n we bought a small softtoy hp accessory for her too. together we sent it off with a strawberry metal bkmark. i muz say this was de first yr we bought so little things for her. haha. felt a little guilty. hope she reali dun mind. well, she told me it's thoughts dat count n she's happy enough to have received smthg from us. bt afterall, i still feel alittle uncomfortable with sendin her small gifts. hahax. nvm, we muz buy smthg gd for her when she's back in sing. =)
mm on 18 may we had our sports day. before tt, yp n i went for de councillor investiture. well, though we were nt quite related to de councillors, i still feel it was quite a touching ceremony. de presentation was meaningful. yeah, our sports day was great. Exciting! haha.. Rasalas came in 2nd. well, taurus clinged de champion yet again. bt i realli enjoyed myself, cheering together as a house. this was certainly smthg i've neva quite experienced in PHS's sports day. haha. in de past, we used to scatter all around n nobody reali cared about cheering for our house. i finally experienced de feeling of belonging to a House. haha...
mm, holidays have begun. well, bt i would rather say it's a short break. for de 1st 2 weeks, we still gotta go back for lotsa lessons. n dere's mock tests ongoing too. hope i'll still have time to meet out with phs friends. well, muz keep in contact. i believed in making efforts to keep in contact. only den can our friendship be evalasting.
well, think recently my heart has become rather 'still'. stop lingering. well, has it become numb?? i'm unsure though. mayb it's better to be so.
k den stop here.

Kalyn.

bdae...

2007-03-17T06:10:00.000-07:00

hiiee galz... =)

arhh.. i've been leavin my blog to collect dust yet again. haha, lazy to blog so pls forgive me. mm somtimes i duno wad to blog too. life's been rather still. the march holidays are endin soon n i'll have to start workin hard on my studies too. been rather slack these 3 mths. haha

mm yest had a bdae celebration with yx n yp. went to j8. well, de 2 of dem were rather secretive. noein dat i dare nt go near de glass panes, dey talked secretly n isolated me away lo... haha bt i dun blame dem. dey had deir reasons i guess. went to kfc to eat n once again, dey ask me go buy myself first. lol. after eatin, dey again ask me go toilet myself. haha i did many things alone dat day actually. haha. mm finally, when i got back, dey had a bdae cake for me. it was a breadtalk box n dey ask me open myself. i was rather surprised man. when i opened it, ntg was inside. hahaa yx tried to convince me dat dey didn buy cake n she juz simply brought de box frm hm. haha i actually began to believe her until yp took out de cake.. looks like i'm getting more n more easy to be deceived. lol anyway, i love de cake n presents dey bought for me. it was lovely. thks gals. though this year irene was nt here with us, u'll still fill up de gap.. ya n i received irene's gift on wed nite. dere was a lovely card with little gifts. mm irene, pls dun think dat dey are nt presents.. indeed dey are far more dan juz gifts on my bdae. it's ur thots dat count. =)

today, went to east coast with 0711Bees. haha. it was a lovely day spent. played volleyball, captain's ball n ROLLERBLADED. oh man. i fell 2 times. my legs hurt a lot. think i cant balance myself well. haha, i'm one who will topple off even on bus. wad more do i expect. haha. mm for de one whole hour++ i think i still didn master de ART of rollerblading. haha it's seems more like a misery to me. bt nevertheless, i wanna thk siowai for her continuous 'support' all de while. haha without her i guess i will fall even more times. oh ya. dey sang bdae song for me too. thks guys. it was actually de first time so many ppl are singing a bdae song for me. haha. n thks for de gift too. it was realli a pretty bag. i love it. =)

mm think i gonna end here. life's gonna be tough bt i'll persevere! =)

oh ya. i watched de mv music n lyrics. ahh.. it's so niceee!

ya n here's a lyric of de song from de mv:

way back into love

I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need em again someday

I've been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not just somebody just to get me throught the night

I could use some direction

And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again

I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

enjoy n here's some pics of today at east coast..

ya n my bdae cake! =)

2007-01-26T00:57:00.000-08:00

mm it's such a long time since i last blogged. n i realli mean LONG. well, these few months had ntg mch to say. or rather, i dun feel like bloggin.

well, these few months mch events happened i guess.. there was de dinin ettiquette, o lvls, grad nite...ya. n de most recent i guess is gtg to ijc. had de orientation n all tt to help us adapt 2 de new surroundings. n for one such person like me, i guess for my whole life, smth i find hard to accept is tryin to adapt to a new surrounding. it's realli hard for me. i miss phs a lot. many little events reminded me of phs. even when de princial is speakin, it do remind me of mrs tan too. i realli miss her mornin devotions n de ever inspirin little talks dat she gave. i'm feelin home sicked. argh. n soon, dere will be de openin ceremony on 2feb n de i@fun on 10feb. all these simply reminded me of phs where we had de grand openin ceremony('04) n phs carnival('05). somehow i juz couldn get back de same feelin again.. =(

mm.. n ya, in this new sch i made quite some friends too. dey r friendly n nice ppl. n everyday i was like with yp n goin crazy at times. laughin n laughin. haha. yp started luvin to eat some jap food recently... hahaha. :p n recently, eversince de day after cross country when we went 2 eat at j8 with 0711B, de guys (jh n ch) were like keep teasin yp of her 'special eatin style'.. haha i was like sittin beside n nearly burst out de food in my mouth. (even went 2 de extent of nt puttin food in my mouth 4 a few moments, for fear dat i would realli becom a food 'merlion' hahaha) it's realli so funny. told yx bout it. n she added smth, "they have more 2 discover hw she eats her rice.." hahaa.. it's realli so funny. oh yp, pardon me pls. i realli feel like bloggin dis down so mch. hahaaa..

mm n well, till now, received some news tt o lvl's results releasin on 9feb. feelin a little nervous bout my eng n hcl. bt o'well, everything's over. leave it to fate ba. no matter wad sch i go, i juz hope to work hard n get to Uni. ntg else matters more than this. nt even sch. alrites. think i'll juz stop here. byee...

life has neva been any simpler 4 mi...

2006-04-08T03:05:00.000-07:00

mm... the weather these few days realli give me the creeps. it feels as though the world is endin soon. gusts of wind hittin upon de windows simply dun gimmi any sense of security. haha. well, it's a pretty smooth week 4 mi. bt anyhw, i had several headaches too. nt worryin over studies, bt instead, over my parents...
mm. hw shld i say? it's like almost everyday, i'm drowned with nags. well, nags nt abt mi still. bt bout my dad. well. as the chinese sayin goes, jia jia you ben nan nian de jian. every family has its own pros. for mine, it's all bout $$$. silly topic. yest, one of my ex-classmates told mi bout wad her sch teaches dem. she says,"$$$makes de world goes round". well, i dun agree. bt its like somtimes ppl do get crazy over such things. n even quarrel over these insignificant issue. well. sumtimes dey do have valid reasons for gettin upset bout such issues. ppl said communication do all wonders to solvin pros. bt i dun realli see its effects in my veri hme u noe. it's like it's of nt mch use if a party do all it can 2 give advice bt d other simply ignores or keeps rebuttin bck with stpid reasons. well. let mi stop here. haiz. i realli dun understand this world. complicated one it is.
next issue: gratitudes & hatreds. mm. my mum often commented on hw bad some 'ppl' treated her n hw gd some others treated her when she was ill or wadeva. often it's de conflicting issue of her natal family n the in-laws. well. i shant say in detail. bt to mi, i cant judge on matters i didn experience personally. bt somehw i could understand the strong hatred she felt towards d in-laws by the way dey treated my family. mm. n she is one who believes firmly in returnin gratitudes n havin ntg to do with those who treated her badly. somehw this influenced mi. well. mm. i dunno.
next, i hve a qn in mind: does retribution realli exists in this world? well, a conflictin issue in my family once again. two sides of it: a bro who cheated elder bro's lottery winnin to do business n one distant relative who was led bad by relatives and cheated others money n ran to thailand. i often dun understand, why do some ppl have de heart to cheat their closed ones. isnt tt too cruel? n i can say the one who cheated bro's business ended twice in jail cos of illegal loanin of money. n the other one is crippled in thailand right nw at the age of 51. i dunno if this is retribution. bt ppl who gt cheated cursed at dem before death. so is this retribution? well, i'm unsure of tat though...
mm... i shant write anymore. tat's all i have to say.
life has neva been any simpler...
Kalyn.

a painful fall...

2006-03-25T21:19:00.000-08:00

mm.. yest i went to watch de mv 2 becum 1... feelin quite moody actually. den later feelin a little unwell. well, i dunno y. bt it's juz like be4 i walk my last few steps of staircase to get to my doorstep, i slip and fell. quite a painful one i muz say. for an instance, i was like crawlin up and standin there in pain. and i feel so helpless and giddy... feel like fainting so mch. haiz. it make me feel so empty all of a sudden. it's like so helpless. realli helpless. normally, when near de edge of fallin, i would get some form of support to hold on to. bt yest, i couldn cos i was carrying 2 rolls of toilet paper and it's rather heavy too. i simply couldn find anything to hold on to. it made mi think why there arent someone to hold on to mi... haiz... i noe i'm realli hopeless... bt let HIM heal my wound and take away my pain. i believe HE has a plan for mi...
i juz hope for a clear and peaceful mind... one that is free of worries and pain...
it's simply too painful...
Kalyn.

16th Birthday...

2006-03-17T04:21:00.000-08:00

mm... today is my 16th birthday...
well, feel a little different... had a celebration with my 3 best friends...
it's juz a simple day though, bt i felt totally diff.
mayb tat's cos of de veri fact tat it mayb de last yr we are celebrating as one. i cant help bt 2 feel a little sad. it may not be the last time. bt the nxt time to cum will probably b yrs after. well. by den i juz hope tat our relationship will remain solid n firm. tat's all i ask.
friendships are fragile. as wad i always believed, it definitely won work one-sided, bt rather, it requires 'two hands to clap'. i hope everything is possible between the 4 of us..
anyway, gals, thks for today. i've reali enjoyed myself. i like everything. esp the card, though there's smthg 'unpleasant' there.. haha. bt i noe it's from ur hearts. it's rather cute actually. haha. i realli like it... =)
mm... if onli it were 2 yrs bck... i juz ask for another 'happy birthday' from u... bt i noe for this lifetime, i shall hear onli once from u... haiz...
well, tat day i read a book n came across a beautiful theory...let mi recite it
there's things in this world which we shld realli fear...
having eyes, but nt seeing beauty
having ears, but nt hearing music
having minds, but nt perceiving truth
having hearts, tat are never moved
& therefore never set on fire...

tat's all i have to say. once again, thank u gals...
Luv,
Kalyn.

memories relapse

2006-02-24T06:21:00.000-08:00

mm.. long time didn blog. well, these few days after ct mm, think most unforgettable is mon and today bah... first of all, mon, yx gives us a stalk of flower.. so sweet. haha. mm, i'll keep it for as long as i'm alive.. i'm sure. cos somehow i have de feelin, tat our friendship will last. haha. previous friendships experience had taught mi nt to put my heart too mch to it. somehow, in this friendship of ours, at de beginnin, i tend to like try nt to commit myself too mch. i'm afraid of yet another set back. but somehow..time make me sink in again. i've yet again found myself gettin deeper into this friendship... i wonder if i could take it when next yr approaches. haha. bt well, onli heaven noes our future. but i do believe human factors play a part in our life too. if we have de hearts to keep united, we'll nt be separated no matter wad.
mm.. today. somehow, the topic of destiny came across my mind many times. mm, first of all is yp tat tigger incident. haha. well, mayb it's destined but who noes? haha. i cant tell tat too. mm, secondly, is something somehow tat yx and my burpin had put it into reality. i realli saw him... haiz. dunno whether i am to feel sad or happy... it seems like a dream u noe. and a dream tat i have neva dreamt it to come true in reality. well, mayb it's seems ntg to others. bt to mi, it means a lot i guess. bt no matter wad, i've to overcome it. i shldn let it bother mi... haizzz

well, end here bahz...
bye
Kalyn

......

2005-12-16T01:09:00.000-08:00

mm.... i'm tired. veri tired.. well, thurs my mum finally admit to TTSH. mm, at first, brought her to wdls polyclinic.. bt u c, her situation isn tat slight u noe. it's yellowish all over body. den doc referred her to hospital. mm, now everyday i got to visit her. but tat isn wad made mi tired... i'm happy to see her afterall... miss her lotss.. but wad made mi real tired was to do de hsewrk she used 2 do... haha. nw i can understand why she took de whole day 2 finish de hsewrk... mm, now i can finally settle down & rest.. well, but later my job starts again... 2 go n buy dinner...
mm, doc told mi mum: de blood vessel beside de liver burst, causin liver 2 malfunction... well, till nw nt realli noe de situation. juz hope it will be a slight one...
k, i'll stop here...
tiredzzz
kalyn.

sadddd

2005-12-13T00:42:00.000-08:00

mm... my mum's not getting any better... last nite, while sleepin, heard her soft yells of pain u noe... i was like dropping tears? i'm unsure... i juz felt veri veri tired... and tears keep welling in my eyes... haiz... today, i woke up n tried to help her a little... i do some housework here n dere. haiz... hope she'll realli get well soon...
mm... i'm feelin kinda empty n lost now... could someone help me up..? haizzz..
i pray dat u get well soon, mum...

a full stop...

2005-12-12T05:58:00.000-08:00

oh ya. i forgot to say...
5th Dec 2005 a day 4 me to remember...
it starts n ends at de same place...
from this day onwards, everything shall be forgotten..

pls get well...!

2005-12-12T04:47:00.000-08:00

haiz... this few days feelin down again, esp today. mm, since days ago, my mum had already complained of chest pain all tat... her stomach nt feelin well, keep vomitting... haiz. i felt helpless. i simply couldn do anythin to lighten her pain u c.. all i could say is, let's go n c doc... haiz... oh, heaven, pls heal her... let her be well again... i dun wish to c her go on like this anymore... pls, pls heal her! haiz... wad could i do? mm, be more sensible i guess. help to do more housework... try nt to give her problems bah... that's de least i should do... well, now is de time to show my concern for her! haiz...
mm, i dunno if u r referring 2 mi.. well, i guess nt... it simply couldn b... hahahahaha... how silly am i...
let mi forget...
mum, pls get well...
With luv,
Kalyn

feelin low...

2005-11-28T18:00:00.000-08:00

mm, dunno why... found dat recently i dun have a good temper. can get realli angry easily... well, sunday is an example. i was supposed to go to my dad's sworn bro's daughter's weddin dinner. but i didn wan to, at d end, i got angry somesort over some matters... haiz... n u noe, tat day i was feelin realli bad... got scolded realli badly by my mum... de endless nags.. at d end, i cried. dunno why... well, mayb i'm feelin empty. cant take it anymore. haiz... i didn wan things to turn out this way.. bt i juz couldn control de situation... my feelings... haiz...

de world goes on, round & round...
it waits for no one...
before u noe it, everything is gone...
& regrets set in...
grab de chance u came upon,
before everythin is too late...
my friends,
treasure everythin u have..

with luv,
Kalyn

usual stuff

2005-11-21T21:35:00.000-08:00

mm, feelin so bored so decided to blog. well, sunday i finally completed de puzzle irene gave mi 4 christmas. it's a pic of pooh, tigger, eeyore n piglet relaxin on a grassland.. mm, beautiful one. it so mch reminded mi of hw nice it would be to relax wif no worries... hahax. mm, looks like i'm dreamin too mch of such a life.
these few days keep havin deep dreams. can even dream of the end of de world is cumin. hahax, tat everywhere is flooded u noe. den last nite dreamt of gtg on a cruise with my 3 dear friends... hahax, weird. mm, some of de dreams were even more scary, juz like some1 chasin after mi... den when i woke up, i was still pantin liddat. hahax...
well, think he mayb gtg jc, well, for mi, think i would go jc too. hahax, but i gt no mre desires 2 meet him anymore. tat day in j8 would probably b de last time.
let tat memory stay foreva...
with luv,
kalyn.

beautiful mmts...

2005-11-18T21:43:00.000-08:00

mm.. 17 nov 2005. a memorable day. well, we went to sentosa. had a wonderful time together. taken many photos too.. de sceneries were simply amazing... thks gals! thks for makin this beautiful day possible... mm, mayb i shall display some scenery pics here bahz... =) enjoy!

photographer: mi! hahax...

my heart is sinkin...

2005-11-16T01:14:00.000-08:00

mm, these few nites keep havin dreams. mayb i'm thinkin too mch. well, my heart is gettin heavier n heavier. wonder how my life will b next year. dull? boring? sianz? well, probably. but i'll treasure d last few mmts i have with my friends... juz need to keep my mind occupied, den my heart will not linger somewhere, missin. it's kinda difficult, but i'll try.
let mi forget...
Kalyn

Flashbacks of Memories...

2005-11-15T04:19:00.000-08:00

these few days keep havin flashbacks of the past, especially of the 40th anniversary... mm, wonder if i am thinkin 2 mch. hahax. well, holidays FINALLY officially started. but well, does it make any difference? seems like my life is still a blank.
2dae went 2 watch mv, just like heaven. quite romantic. mm, somehow i donno y, normally i won cry tat easily when watchin mv (even 4 d love once more, i didn drop a tear), but somehow, 2dae i still cried a little. mm, mayb i'm feelin dwn these few days bahz... mm, bt who cares?
thurs gtg 4 sentosa trip wif my 3 dear friends n sis. hope it'll be a wonderful day...
juz wanna lead a simple, fruitful life. one full of meanings. is tat so difficult?
With luv,
Kalyn

a fresh new start

2005-11-10T02:14:00.000-08:00

mm.. first time bloggin in this new blog. realli dunno wad to say. if it were yrs bck, guess i would have long started rumblin bout my recent happenings, feelings... but seems like this time i've gt ntg mch to comment.
mayb i've lost feelings for many things over so many encounters. yea, think tat's de process of growin up. onli setbacks can get us to learn bout life. life isnt simple. life is nt entirely fate. it requires courage. it requires initiative. it requires determination. n most of all, it requires hope. without hope, it'll turn meaningless.
well, thru these 3 yrs, realli enjoy my sec school life in phs. it's certainly meaningful n enjoyable. n not forgetting, my 3 dear friends. they're wonderful. they've made my life colourful.
once, i thot tat life is meaningless. thot tat it's juz a boring daily routine. juz becos of emotional setbacks, i could juz be depressed 4 e whole day. well, thinkin bck, think it's realli childish. mayb i've juz grown up. i've a long way more to go...
let me start a brand new life. a life free of worries. a life full of hopes n determination. most of all, a life full of meaningfulness.
somethings are meant to be forgotten. let dem remain as memories... i believe.
one day i'll forget u...
may u find ur happiness.
With Luv,
Kalyn